Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
