How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
