Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
