pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
