I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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