I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
