brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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