My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
