He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
