Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
