don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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