i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
