Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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