how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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