She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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