I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
