my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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