Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
