Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
