I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
