I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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