Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
do nipples grow back?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize