I want to walk on stilts...naked
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
