tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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