I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
