I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
