fuck your aforementioned shoe
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
