She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
