I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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