Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
