i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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