Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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