You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
this just has baby written all over it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
