he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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