Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
