you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
