Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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