I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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