and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
