just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
