i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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