I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im holly from the hills drunk
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
