Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
