dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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