I showed him my bush... on skype.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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