I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
