I have demons in me.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
