It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
