my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You are a genius and a whore.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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