he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize