Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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