a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
