I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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