if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
