I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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