yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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