She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
