check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Randomize
