Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
