Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
